Archive for July 2009
I am not good at the waiting game. If or when I am not acting I am down or depressed. I have two months before I plan to leave and wish there was a fast forward button on this crazy journey ! I just got done reading my fellow Ugandaners, Joe and Jo’s blog www.gymnasticals.com. They just got back from their honey moon. A honey moon in Uganda. Didn’t you know the best honey moon sites are in Africa? DUH! They served a village of forgotten people who have nothing. An amazing story. It strikes me how vital the journey’s and acts of others are so important to my inspiration. I am blessed to be at NCC, surrounded by so many huge step takers. I am not just talking about those who step to Afrfica, but those who work anywhere with those less fortunate. NOt sure how the world WONT be changed with all the people who I see that embody the power of God. LOL, I used to hate people who are talking like I am now.
I saw Pastor Zeb at Ebeneezers again tonight! He spoke about how faithful God has been to him through free cars:-). I am so happy to be testing my own faith with this whole process. I feel faithful and hope I am faithful but still know I could be way more faithful. As the day for departure grows closer my fears rise a little bit. The biggest fears I have are my ability to make sure the kids stay the focus of my mission and the long term success for them. 2nd would be my relationships. There are pros and cons to doing this thing as a single or married. I definitely feel the cons of doing it single. Finally, the finances. I have been SOO focused on “security” since I graduated college so this is a shock.
I list these for my own memory! I think these fears grow my faith. Without fear I wouldn’t need faith. Even with these fears I have SO much faith and just need to keep reminding myself that faithfulness is the #1 goal and priority. I trust God will smash these fears! Thank you !!!!!
Pastor Zeb from Addis Ababa spoke at NCC tonight!! Makes me more excited to get over there!! It was awesome. The spirit that flows out of that man and Beza as a whole, is just unreal. I get a freaking ton from what Pastor Mark says, but don’t feel like I am trading down or loosing anything because Pastor Z is awesome too! I pray that I can have a contolled tongue(some day) that can speak into the Ethiopian’s kids lives like Mark and Z speak into mine. I just can’t wait for a chance to build those bonds and watch “The Crew” grow! That is after I learn a ridiculously hard language(Amharic)!!! Also had dinner with NCC friends, John, Jen, Kate. Its ridiculous how many wonderful, generous, warm people I am surrounded by!
I try and spend minimal time focusing on the amount of money I need to raise before I leave in September or the money I will have to raise in the years to come. I believe it is generally against my nature to ask for things as my Myers Briggs label is a “provider”. With all the pieces of this decision I need to show faith, this is by far the most difficult. Funny thing is that I am confident it will happen. When it does I know I won’t be able to take any credit because this process is NOT one of my gifts. As I plug away at using the right words, pictures, details to include in support letters and emails, I realize it is completely out of my hands. I AIN’T able, but God is.
I have no idea what that means for my future. Stay tuned.
Send money, Mom.