Flailing

Take out the first L and you get failing. That is what it feels like for us right now. We are at the end of our ropes.

The boys are struggling. The team is struggling. We don’t feel like we have enough resources or support to manage the difficult issues. It is so mentally exhausting that asks so much from us.

The ups and downs do more then turn the stomach. Our boys emotional curve balls are hard to handle when they show willingness to throw everything away because of their inability to understand their emotions.

We have four boys on the brink of throwing away all that has happened over the last 2 years. Others consistently fight for power, showing their desperate state of needing to feel like they are in control of their lives. A need we understand, but lack the expertise on how best to handle. When we have so many lives under our care, the power game is a lose lose situation.

I can’t even write clearly, but want to be real about our struggles.

Just pray I guess..

Relief

My team and I all have mental relief now because we were able to discover that the theft in our house was not our boys.

This is a huge praise. We talked and prayed about this issue SO much. Finally with God’s clear help, we took steps to squash the issue. I set up a miniature sting operation and caught the person stealing from our ministry. I can’t express what that feels like. First, I feel like I finally took care of my manly responsibility in protecting this house, my team and these boys. Second, the torment of suspecting and wondering about our boys is over!!

There are so many examples of this type of theft happening all around us. It is scary, depressing, and infuriating. For a person to sink to those depths, especially considering the people in our ministry and our purpose, is just sad.

On another note, our team has one of our most important meetings on Saturday. In sum, it is a meeting to encourage the Beza congregation to adopt a revolutionary form of long term “foster care” for our boys. This meeting’s outcome will determine our entire ministries direction, our boys lives directions, and the direction of each person’s life that is involved with our beloved boys. We are expecting great things to happen as the will of God continues to shine through our ministry.

On Saturday I talked to the boys about our duties as men, to stand up for justice, protect women and children, and not fear the consequences of chasing what is right. The lack of loving and Godly strength, commitment, dependability, and courage I see through out so many groups of men plagues my mind and soul daily. I pray my anger turns into wisdom able to encourage and convict my gender. I pray our boys represent a different group that can stand tall as strong men following the example of Christ. Now that would relieve my soul!